Left on Read: What It Really Means

In this episode, we break down the real reasons she’s not texting you back and trust us, it’s not always what you think. From losing interest and mixed signals to playing it cool or simply being overwhelmed, we’re unpacking every scenario.

We’re also getting honest about the things men do that instantly kill attraction (without realizing it), and how texting habits can make or break your chances.

Is she busy… or just not that into you? Is it a test, a game, or a silent goodbye?

If you’ve ever been left on read, ghosted, or stuck in texting limbo then this episode is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Coffee and Cleavage. Welcome. I'm Lenny. And I'm Claudia. And hello, Gary.

SPEAKER_03 0:06

Hey ladies, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Yeah. It's nice to have you back in the studio.

SPEAKER_03 0:10

I know. It's great to be back.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Welcome back.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

How was your vacation?

SPEAKER_03 0:14

It was great.

unknown 0:15

Nice.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

Kept you busy like always.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Yeah. Did you get a nice tan?

SPEAKER_03 0:21

I wish. I went on a vacation and it rained a little bit, which sucked.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

So well, reasons to go back, right? Exactly. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Well, today we have a really good topic for you guys, but first we want to thank our sponsor, Gerald Manitti.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

We're diving straight into Maniti. I love it. I love when we start with Maniti. Dr. Gerald Maniti is the official coffee and cleavage sponsor. He is a board-certified plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills who does all the fun things Linny and I just love.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

Yes, we do.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

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SPEAKER_01 1:16

And his before and afters are incredible.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

I love that page.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

You don't even like realize like what the body's capable of doing until you see like a before and after by like a skilled surgeon.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

And you're like, whoa. Yeah. So please you check out, make sure you check out Dr. Gerald Maniti online. Um, and I think you guys will be very impressed and know exactly who to go to for your next Botox nip or tuck or both.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

All the above. All the above. Well, so if you're start, if you're staring at your phone and wondering why she hasn't texted you back, this episode is for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

I feel like we've all been there. Well, maybe not you, Lenny, because you're hot. Everybody's texting you back. Never mind, guys. Let's just end the episode because it's not relatable for Lenny at all.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

This is a good topic though. You have? Yeah, guys. What? Guys play those dating games, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:15

I don't know with you guys. I feel like I'm in a situation all the time. Really? It's annoying. It's so frustrating, honestly. It drives you crazy because you're like, why are you not texting me? Like, should I text back? I shouldn't. And it's like, well, she's not texting me. It's like, do I say something weird? It's like all the shit goes through your mind.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

What is the proper amount of time if somebody texts you? Like, let's say I text you right now and we're like starting to like, you know, like each other and you know, whatever. What is too fast and what is too long? Like, what is that perfect answer for you?

SPEAKER_01 2:51

I don't think there's a too fast. I think if you're available and you're you think you don't think it looks desperate? It can if you're always writing them right back and you're always looking too available.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

That's my thing.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

You know, it's I don't know. As far as what is too fast though, what do you think is too fast?

SPEAKER_00 3:13

I I always give it a little time. Like I don't want to look like I'm like and I usually sitting there waiting, even though I am probably like okay, okay. Like, okay, okay, I'm just gonna walk away from it. But my problem is if I see it and I put it down, I forget about it completely. That's like my problem.

SPEAKER_03 3:29

But do you guys well, do you guys do the thing where if someone like takes a few hours, you're like a few hours? All right, I'm gonna take like six hours now. We're gonna you want to take a day, I'm gonna take two days.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

No, you're playing this game, I'll play it harder. Yeah, I'm not a game player. I'm not either. That's what I'm saying. Like, to me, I didn't think there's an answer of what's too fast and too long. Cause if I am able to text back, I will.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

I'm kind of petty like that, I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

You're petty? Petty. I love it.

SPEAKER_03 3:56

Because it's just an if you're like, you know, if you're texting and it's like this person writes you like a day later and you're like, I'm not gonna write you back in like 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

True.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

So I'm like, all right, I'll just do my thing and I'll be like, okay, I'm gonna kind of do the same thing. But it's just like it's probably not a good thing to do, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

No, and I think it also depends on the the type of message. Cause like the quickest way to piss me off is hey. Oh yeah, the short or like W Y D. Like, how what are you gonna do with all the time that you saved instead of typing out what are you doing? Yeah, or what are you up to? Like to why W Y D, like H B U. Yeah, like cut. Come on. Like, if I get a hey W Y D block, you're not even getting a text back, you're a child.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

I'm so glad to hear you say this because I thought I was the only one who hates the abbreviation. No, no, don't do that. Slazy as fuck.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Like what what corporations did you start with, like the time you saved? Yeah. R not saying the whole thing, yeah, I can't do that. You can't do that. K. K.

SPEAKER_03 5:00

K bugs me a lot.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

K means fuck off. Yeah. To me. Basically.

SPEAKER_03 5:04

It's just so passive aggressive, like K. You're like, fuck you. Yeah. Let's say K to me.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Or if you like thumbs up my message, that's immediately fuck off, too. Like and not say anything else. Yeah, I don't know. Just so like the heart is right next to the lot though. Yeah. No, that see, that means you're mad at me. I I can't, I can't do that. I can't do that. Okay, so why is she actually not texting you back? Let's let's let's get let's get into the nitty-gritty. Why is she actually not texting you back? If I'm not texting you back, I'm busy.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

That's the only reason I'm not texting you back.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

That's me too. That's I'm busy. Yeah. Yeah. So guys, it's like Or if I don't like you, but that's I mean there's like two extremes here.

SPEAKER_03 5:48

But so with you guys, so so so you don't text someone back, but then say you go on your Instagram and you do a story or something, someone's gonna see that and be like, wow, what the fuck? Or they see you're active on something else and you're you didn't text them back. So how do you play that situation out?

SPEAKER_00 6:04

I don't like that either. Because if I see that I messaged you and I see you're on Instagram, I don't like that. But I think for girls like you and I, like Instagram's scope of our job.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

So maybe I don't have time to talk about personal things right now, but I have to post something on Instagram because that's my that's what I do, yeah, you know, day to day. So I think I think that varies person to person for me personally.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Yeah. You know, I can see that because sometimes you're just in your work mode and doing all your posts and you know, yeah, you're like, okay, I'll get to the personal stuff after that. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's busy. She's busy, you know. Um when it is you though, I mean here's some advice, I guess. You maybe you came on too strong too fast, over texting, you're too sexual too soon.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Oh, I don't like that.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

I just I don't like the coming on too fast with like sexual things, like leave that for like in-person stuff. Yeah, I I don't like I think especially for us because of like our our world of content creation and our whole job is very sexually charged all the time. Like, I don't want to see it in text message. Yeah, you know, definitely, yeah. And you know what the the biggest thing I hate well, sorry I didn't text you back. I'm just I'm not I'm I'm not a big texter. Lie.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Big texter. That's a lie.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

We're all on our phones.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

No, I mean, whether that's some people may not be a bigger texter, but they like to send audio notes or call or whatever, yeah, which I I I will admit though, I hate talking on the phone. Me too.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

I kind of like it. I like I like the old schoolness of it. Yeah. Like I rather just get because like sometimes you remember how like we were sending each other messages like back and forth, like audios. I'm like, I'm just gonna call you.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

And that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Yeah. Cause it's just like if if we're just going back and forth with voice notes, let's just get on the phone and like talk it out and whatever. But I think we're we're all on our phones at all times. Yeah. The only time I'm not on my phone is if I'm like at dinner and that's like my personal time, but then I won't text you back. But if for people in 2026 saying I'm not on my phone or I'm not a big texter, no, I don't.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:23

I think it's better to just own it too and be like, sorry, I thought I text you and I didn't. Like not be like, oh, I it sent, but then it didn't. And like making no.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Oh, sorry, I forgot to press send. Yeah, or message didn't go through. No. You can use that one time.

SPEAKER_03 8:40

You can use that one time and then it's gone. Then you say, okay, I didn't text you back, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

I'd rather just somebody say sorry, I'm a shitty, like, sorry, like shitty texter, like I suck at this slip. Yeah, yeah. But if, you know, make sure she does own it, because that kind of that that that's kind of yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

Do you think if say a guy texts a girl though and like she's not texting back, I mean, do you think like you shouldn't be like, okay, I'm gonna give it 10 minutes and then like text again and then be like, okay, I like all right, maybe I should kind of like and cause it drives guys crazy.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

I'm a shotgun tuxter. Like, you don't respond, I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep hitting you until you do. Like, I'm I'm not like yeah, I'm a shotgun texter for sure. I'll call my shit out, like for sure. You'll you'll open your phone and there'll be 12 messages from me with no regard. Yeah, so wrong person to ask. Yeah, I I'm a shotgun tuxter.

SPEAKER_03 9:36

It's really interesting to hear a girl say that because usually it's guys that are like, hey, okay, like maybe I said something bad, and it's like you're overthinking and you're like, Well, I didn't mean that. And it's like, oh my god, like just yeah, stop saying anything.

SPEAKER_01 9:51

Well, sometimes when you do send multiple messages, it's kind of like a little nudge to make your notification pop up.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Yeah, like maybe they didn't see the first 16. So maybe they'll see the 17th. Usually get a response. Hey, squeaky wheel gets the grease guys.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

But is that with everyone? Or would that be just with Dan? Or is that with literally everyone?

SPEAKER_00 10:13

I know everyone. Why watch us watch us talk next time? Go through our group chats, like you can see how I message. Like, I'm like you have a fucking novel to read by the time you're done with me. Yeah. No, sorry, guys.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Oh, that's so funny. Yeah. Um, the uncomfortable reasons. Here we go, you guys. Maybe replies slower over time. Shorter messages, less engagement. But what does that mean? Just reasons why maybe she's not texting back.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Yeah, but if they're like like short little answers, yeah. Is does a short answer to you mean someone's not interested, or are they just not a big texter? Because I take that as not interesting. I take it like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

Because you know how someone one person can be carrying the conversation, the other one's just putting up with it. Like, yeah, totally. Okay. It's like some people will just keep going, other people are like, I can tell I'm bothering you at this point. Yeah. Especially with guys when they come, it's about girls, and it's like, I feel like I'm just bugging you at this point. You're not carrying the conversation on. It's like, do you just kind of pull back at that point? Or I mean, what do you do?

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Like, I mean, I think you have to, and then kind of see if they come back, and then if they really don't come back to the conversation, then you know, okay, like this is just yeah, it's dead.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

Because you know, you can tell when someone's just kind of over it if they're stopped and they they don't text you, and you kind of text them and they're like, Fucking what? Yeah, like yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

It's like if you guys ever met someone though that has a different texting personality compared to when they're in person with you, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

Oh yeah, right? Yeah, yeah. And I think for men, uh in my experience, it's been men because I feel like we get so confident, like men get confident, like talking on the phone because there's a screen, there's a barrier, and then they see you in person, then they're like, ah, you know, and then they get all shy or like reserved. Like, I think I'm the same person through and through on social media with you know same. I think I think I'm the same. You are yeah, yeah, yeah. And I text like it too.

SPEAKER_03 12:19

I think people can come off as way more assholes texting. Yeah, especially if you like you don't even use like like they're short or like they don't use any emojis like ever. Because you can say stuff and people will just be like, what the fuck? And you just are saying it totally normal, but it comes off as like you're yeah, you're pissed or something.

SPEAKER_00 12:37

So that's why I don't like having serious conversations though like through texting, because you don't you never hear the tone. And I think as soon as you get on the phone on the like a phone call, like your demeanor calms down a little bit. If it is like a heated thing, you're not as like antsy to like jump at somebody. But I feel like when you're texting, you could just like go in on them, you know.

SPEAKER_03 12:59

Yeah, I gotta feel like you gotta use emojis, especially if you're like, is this coming off kind of like like I'm an asshole? You almost use an emoji, but then people some people don't, or they're just short and you're like, Yeah, it's just but then they're not like that in person, it's strange.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Yeah, or they'll throw in like a if it's like something serious, they'll throw in like a lol at them. It's like, no, just say it with your chest. Say it. Like just say it with your chest. Like if you're gonna say it, like yeah, say it. Why the lol at that? I hate that.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

It could be a little passive aggressive. It breaks it up where it's like, it's cool.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

Yeah, like I'm I'm giggling about this. You're a man, you shouldn't be giggling. Ick. That's an ick. Immediately. Okay, well, I love that. Um, I love that men and women, we all do the same thing, honestly. I don't think like this one is particular to men or women. I think this is very much both both sexes here. We're usually you know, knocking on you men, but I think I think we're both guilty.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Of this one for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Poor guys, though.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

I know.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

I think guys get it's way rougher for guys though, because you don't hear, and that's why I like that you say that you do that. Yeah, because usually it's always guys, and they're always just like, oh my god, like thinking and overthinking. Because I've done that personally. Like someone doesn't text you, you're just like, should I have not said that? Are they busy? And then you're like thinking about it, you're like, they're busy, and then you see their Instagram and it's like, fucking bitch, posted a story.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

But like But do you if somebody doesn't text you back, do you go on Instagram and send them an Instagram message? No, I do. I don't. You know what?

SPEAKER_01 14:41

I do sometimes I've done that before. I've done that actually with my tattoo artist because he will respond back to Instagram messages faster than d than text. Interesting. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

So that's why I do it.

SPEAKER_03 14:52

But in certain situations, if it's a guy talking to a girl and it's like, where are you? I'm gonna find you on Instagram now because you didn't write me on there. It's kind of almost like, Jesus, man, like I didn't write you. Like, leave the fuck alone. Take a hint.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

See, I'm bad. Maybe I need to take a hint.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

You're like, I'll find you wherever you are, Snapchat.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Yeah, Snapchat, where are you at? YouTube comments. OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

Like, I saw you were you were active 10 minutes ago and I text you. You didn't text people.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

I saw you were signed into your Netflix account. What are you watching?

SPEAKER_01 15:24

They go to your Sex Panther. And literally, see, but it says available five minutes ago. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

See, and that's that's a good one. Like, and I always I always turn my like last scene off on like Instagram and stuff because I'm like, I don't want people knowing.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

You guys have it bad though, because it's like you can go to so many spots and be like, hey, are you here? No. Okay, you hear? No. You okay? You can find us very easily online.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, damn. You can't hide from anything these days.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

I know. No, wow, you can't be invisible on all platforms. I kind of wish. It's kind of like that.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Okay, so she's not texting you back because she's either not interested, a shitty texter, which I don't don't don't believe that, guys. I I don't like that. I don't like that. Call call girls out on it.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

I don't, especially a woman. She's definitely on her phone.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

She's definitely on her phone.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

Yeah, like you said, everyone is use your phone for everything.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

So I mean so shitty texter is not a good it's not an excuse.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

She's just not into you.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

She's either not into you or she is really busy. Yeah. Or both.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

Busy is so busy is believable though, right? I mean, if someone's like, I'm really busy, you know. Do you believe that?

SPEAKER_00 16:33

But we're all really busy.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

Everyone wants to be really busy, I think, to everyone though.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

We're all really busy. I'm extremely busy day to day. My phone's always glued to my ass.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

Well, I think people don't want to be like, I was doing nothing today.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

But like everyone wants to be like busy, but then I don't really care when people don't believe me because I'm like, I am busy. My phone, my notifications go off all day. Yeah, like I'm sorry if I take forever to get back to you. I'm not intentionally trying to do that.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Do you ever have like because like you'll see like somebody's phones sometimes and they have like 300 unread text messages? Like, do you ever have that or are you like a person that like you need to close out all your messages like the second they come in?

SPEAKER_01 17:11

For text messages? I never have like that many.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

No, yeah, no, I'm I that would give me anxiety. Yeah, I can't. Like emails, yeah. My Gmail is like struggling for air, like girl, unlock some of these.

SPEAKER_03 17:23

Um 120,000.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

No, literally. Yeah, but I've seen like friends' phones where it says like 353 text messages, and I'm like, dude, that would drive me crazy.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Yeah, I don't know. Somebody could have died.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

Yeah, even just that number bugs me. I'm like, I can't, I can't have that on there. If I have one voicemail, I'm like, what is this? And I need to delete it.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

Then it's like we've been trying to reach you regarding your loan 10 times a day. Literally 10 times a day. But I'm like a spam friend. I'm your favorite spam friend. Yeah, okay. Well, now we know, guys. I think those are the two reasons, and I think one of them's bogus, so she's just busy or she's not into you because as simple as that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

Yeah. Fair enough.

unknown 18:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

Let us know, guys, if what what you guys think? What you think. Yeah. Why do you think you're a shitty texter? Why are you not texting back? And if I message you, and oh, and then and that's another thing. If if I message you and you don't message me back, blocked.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

Blocked. Or if you like your message.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

Oh, yeah. Then this to me is this. No doubt.

SPEAKER_03 18:35

What's the amount of time though that you give people? An hour?

SPEAKER_00 18:38

15 seconds or we're done. Time is money, baby. Cheers. Cheers to that.